How Little E helped me broaden my perspective with a laptop...

We try not to let the kids play too much on electronics because it seems they get mesmerized and develop some bad habits socially. But - homework was done and rooms were cleaned (somewhat.) So, I told Little E that he could play on his brothers computer for a little bit. I was engrossed working on my computer and lost track of time (maybe mesmerized a little myself. :)) I had forgotten what Little E was doing - so I asked him. He responded, "Still on the computer." Thinking Little E should get his exercise and wanting to be a good dad I said, " Why don't you go play outside?" To which he responded, "There are no plugs out there!"

Hilarious - But, Little E was obviously answering the wrong question. Sometimes, I get so engrossed in what is right in front of me that I start finding solutions for the wrong question. Maybe the questions aren't , " Why am I so fat ", "Why won't that  lame customer call me back" or , "Why won't my kids just listen"?  Maybe the questions are, "Why don't I care about my body" or "What can I say to give the customer a compelling reason to call me back" or "Why am I so quick to get angry?" 

I need to step back from the laptop - Ask the question again  - and broaden my perspective. 

Top 10 funniest moments from my boys this year

I know half of my Facebook friends are out partying tonight. The other half are like me playing pictionary with the fam watching everybody doze off as midnight draws near. Some of my best memories this year are from being a dad. Here are my top 10. Please, feel free to share yours. 

10. Getting to school and realizing the boys accidentally put the others clothes on as one was holding his pants up and the other's pants looked ready for extremely high waters. 

9. Little E taking a tip from Big E's baseball practice and doing push-ups right over home plate before he takes his at bat. 

8. Little E chasing down an older kid on his older brother's soccer team because he was being mean to his older brother. 

7. When Little E said he wanted to marry his mom. 

6. When Big E had to do more laps than anybody else on his basketball team because their coach (me) made them do a lap every time they dribbled right away after catching a pass. I guess his dad should have taught him better. ;)

5. When Big E realized with his very analytical mind that it was better to send his little brother to ask for things (candy, video games, etc) because it gave a higher probability of receiving a yes. 

4. Big E selling the most ornaments for the Christmas fundraiser at the school. This is just funny because you see the apple does not fall far from the tree. 

3. Both boys asking for Mikuni as their personal choice for their family Birthday dinner. 

2. Little E leading at backstroke during the swim meet only to turn on his stomach for the second half of the leg to be able to see if a shark was coming. 

1. When I asked little E if he was ready to tell the truth and he said, "Not yet."

There. Now share some of yours!

No Pause Button

I missed writing this blog. So, I am starting again. Yes, it is unashamedly about my two boys. It is my excuse to write about whatever I want with amusing stories about them as the backdrop. It has actually been a couple of years since I left it. But, the stories have been piling up. So, enjoy!

Little E was playing on the Kinect the other day and I told him he needed to get his shoes and coat on so we could leave the house. He started to walk away from the xbox. Big E started to grab the controller to pause the game. Little E reassured him, "Don't worry. When I walk away it pauses itself."  We were watching an old movie - Chitty, Chitty, bang bang - the other night. In the middle of the movie it actually had a part that was in many movies made in that time period. It had an intermission. Little E was curious what the screen said. We explained to him that an intermission was a time when people paused to use the restroom or get a snack. It must have seemed odd considering he could have pressed the pause button at any time on the remote.

Now I resume this blog. It is two years later. My youngest just turned seven and my oldest is about to turn nine. Where is the pause button?! Sometimes, I wish there was one. But, when I really think about it, I change my mind. Because, aren't the best movies the ones where you are so entranced by the story that you are right there in the moment waiting expectantly for the next scene? Home (iPhone) movies are great. But, there is nothing better than seeing the story unfold live. Pay attention! You could miss the best scene. 

Observations about friendship from Our Road Trip

We just spent a few days on the Monterey Coast with the boys. They are 4 and 6 now - going on 5 and 7 in December and January. It is always amazing to me observing the boys when we take a few days away. A lot of time is spent in the car. While in the car you get to observe their behavior in a whole new light. That is, because it is for an expanded period of time (4 or 5 hours) within a confined space (the van.) "That's funny - That tickles - It's my turn - He hit me!" It is so intriguing to me as I observe an older brother that can despise his younger brother one minute and in the next minute offer to let him have his blanket to keep warm. I guess he has not yet learned the refinement of harboring bitterness that we adults are so good at (sarcasm implied). But then I wonder if he is closer to the mark.  If you could have a relationship that was transparent in regards to shortfalls but quickly expressed love and appreciation that wouldn't be so bad - Would it?

Would your friend give you $100?

E loves to strike up conversations wherever he happens to be. This happens really easily at the playground. He is five years old and freely talks with whoever will or will not listen. Both the boys were running around the playground when E overheard a mom speaking to her son. She said, "Kyle, go help your brother please." (I have changed the name to protect the innocent/guilty) Here is how the conversation continued:
E: I have a friend named Kyle too
Kyle's Mom: Oh, really?
E: Yes. He goes to my church and school.
KM: That is nice
E: He said he was going to give me One Hundred Dollars!
KM: Wow, that is a good friend.

Me (Dad): E, come here.
E: Yes?
Me: Did Kyle really say he was going to give you One Hundred Dollars?
E: Yes Dad (with emphasis) He did!
Me: Why did he say he was going to give you One Hundred Dollars (with skepticism)?
E: (With a huge smile) Kyle said that he would give me One Hundred Dollars if I would leave him and his friends alone.

At this point in the story, you are probably laughing realizing Kyle's real intentions in offering E one hundred dollars. I thought it was quite amusing too. I actually did not tell E what I thought Kyle's real intentions were. I felt it was better that he thought well of Kyle. It seems like as we get older, we immediately do the opposite of what E did. We lean towards thinking others have the worst of intentions. It seems like we would be better off thinking that people want to do us right. I am not saying bury our heads in the sand and be naive.
If we think the best of people - maybe it will help give them the confidence to be better.

1 Pet 4:8 -  "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (NIV)

Has Time Management Ruined Our Ability to Enjoy the Moment?

I wonder if time management has ruined our ability to enjoy the moment. As I played Lego Star Wars on Big "E"'s Xbox, he never brought up to me that he had another engagement he would have to attend to in a few minutes. When I was picking up Little "e" and touching his head to the ceiling, he never said, "one more time dad and then I have to clean my room." I suppose that is part of being a kid. Part of not really being fully responsible for anything that goes on in your life. You depend on your parents for that. But, man you don't hear of children having ulcers or suffering from depression. Before you argue with me on that point, I am sure there are some out there. But, you get my point. If you are like me, it is really hard to enjoy the moment like a child does as you think about the "important" things you have to accomplish that day, that month, that year. Is our child's laugh any less precious or that deep conversation any less meaningful because we are having difficulty with the finances or have not lost that ten pounds yet. It shouldn't be.

It is right in front of us. Those moments to be valued and cherished today. They do not depend on every problem being solved or every question being answered. They depend on our ability to BE there.

So, let's stop and fully disengage from the moment that is yet to come, and fully engage in the moment in front of us. It could be the best one yet.

Matthew 6:28-34
28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.


I would be interested to hear your comments on whether this is an issue you also deal with. Click the comment button below to speak up.

The Slide Machine

What would life be like if we lived life like kids do on the playground? I am actually sitting here at the playground as I write this. If I hit send before I am done, it is because one of my boys just jumped on my neck while I wasn't looking. It is in the mall and it is Christmas time. Needless to say, the whole thing is a fire hazard. Crazy part is there are about 30 to 40 kids on about 800 square feet and they seem to make it work.
I am watching the kids standing in a free formed line for the slide. No playground monitors. Just parents taking a break from their Christmas shopping. Although there is a line, some kids are moving a little faster and make there way around the line - others are a little more tentative and take their time - others just chit chat while in line and I haven't seen go down the slide yet. But, it works. No kids complaining. Just playin'. Every once in a while an overprotective mom will come and closely monitor while her little princess slides down -all the kids pause... - and then the slide machine continues.
Sometimes in my life, things just move smoothly and flow like the "slide machine." But, most of the time it doesn't. Most of the time I am analyzing too closely if I am at my rightful place in line. Wouldn't it be a great place to be just to play your part within the flow? That slide line would have been a nightmare to try and organize. But, as a freeflowing group of kids it just worked.
I want to do my part in a way that maximizes my potential while not hindering but maximizing the potential of others.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. - 1 Corinthians 12:17