Observations about friendship from Our Road Trip

We just spent a few days on the Monterey Coast with the boys. They are 4 and 6 now - going on 5 and 7 in December and January. It is always amazing to me observing the boys when we take a few days away. A lot of time is spent in the car. While in the car you get to observe their behavior in a whole new light. That is, because it is for an expanded period of time (4 or 5 hours) within a confined space (the van.) "That's funny - That tickles - It's my turn - He hit me!" It is so intriguing to me as I observe an older brother that can despise his younger brother one minute and in the next minute offer to let him have his blanket to keep warm. I guess he has not yet learned the refinement of harboring bitterness that we adults are so good at (sarcasm implied). But then I wonder if he is closer to the mark.  If you could have a relationship that was transparent in regards to shortfalls but quickly expressed love and appreciation that wouldn't be so bad - Would it?

Would your friend give you $100?

E loves to strike up conversations wherever he happens to be. This happens really easily at the playground. He is five years old and freely talks with whoever will or will not listen. Both the boys were running around the playground when E overheard a mom speaking to her son. She said, "Kyle, go help your brother please." (I have changed the name to protect the innocent/guilty) Here is how the conversation continued:
E: I have a friend named Kyle too
Kyle's Mom: Oh, really?
E: Yes. He goes to my church and school.
KM: That is nice
E: He said he was going to give me One Hundred Dollars!
KM: Wow, that is a good friend.

Me (Dad): E, come here.
E: Yes?
Me: Did Kyle really say he was going to give you One Hundred Dollars?
E: Yes Dad (with emphasis) He did!
Me: Why did he say he was going to give you One Hundred Dollars (with skepticism)?
E: (With a huge smile) Kyle said that he would give me One Hundred Dollars if I would leave him and his friends alone.

At this point in the story, you are probably laughing realizing Kyle's real intentions in offering E one hundred dollars. I thought it was quite amusing too. I actually did not tell E what I thought Kyle's real intentions were. I felt it was better that he thought well of Kyle. It seems like as we get older, we immediately do the opposite of what E did. We lean towards thinking others have the worst of intentions. It seems like we would be better off thinking that people want to do us right. I am not saying bury our heads in the sand and be naive.
If we think the best of people - maybe it will help give them the confidence to be better.

1 Pet 4:8 -  "Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (NIV)

Has Time Management Ruined Our Ability to Enjoy the Moment

I wonder if time management has ruined our ability to enjoy the moment. As I played Lego Star Wars on Big "E"'s Xbox, he never brought up to me that he had another engagement he would have to attend to in a few minutes. When I was picking up Little "e" and touching his head to the ceiling, he never said, "one more time dad and then I have to clean my room." I suppose that is part of being a kid.  Read More
http://edjones88.blogspot.com/2010/01/has-time-management-ruined-our-ability.html

Has Time Management Ruined Our Ability to Enjoy the Moment?

I wonder if time management has ruined our ability to enjoy the moment. As I played Lego Star Wars on Big "E"'s Xbox, he never brought up to me that he had another engagement he would have to attend to in a few minutes. When I was picking up Little "e" and touching his head to the ceiling, he never said, "one more time dad and then I have to clean my room." I suppose that is part of being a kid. Part of not really being fully responsible for anything that goes on in your life. You depend on your parents for that. But, man you don't hear of children having ulcers or suffering from depression. Before you argue with me on that point, I am sure there are some out there. But, you get my point. If you are like me, it is really hard to enjoy the moment like a child does as you think about the "important" things you have to accomplish that day, that month, that year. Is our child's laugh any less precious or that deep conversation any less meaningful because we are having difficulty with the finances or have not lost that ten pounds yet. It shouldn't be.

It is right in front of us. Those moments to be valued and cherished today. They do not depend on every problem being solved or every question being answered. They depend on our ability to BE there.

So, let's stop and fully disengage from the moment that is yet to come, and fully engage in the moment in front of us. It could be the best one yet.

Matthew 6:28-34
28 "And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.


I would be interested to hear your comments on whether this is an issue you also deal with. Click the comment button below to speak up.

The Slide Machine

What would life be like if we lived life like kids do on the playground? I am actually sitting here at the playground as I write this. If I hit send before I am done, it is because one of my boys just jumped on my neck while I wasn't looking. It is in the mall and it is Christmas time. Needless to say, the whole thing is a fire hazard. Crazy part is there are about 30 to 40 kids on about 800 square feet and they seem to make it work.
I am watching the kids standing in a free formed line for the slide. No playground monitors. Just parents taking a break from their Christmas shopping. Although there is a line, some kids are moving a little faster and make there way around the line - others are a little more tentative and take their time - others just chit chat while in line and I haven't seen go down the slide yet. But, it works. No kids complaining. Just playin'. Every once in a while an overprotective mom will come and closely monitor while her little princess slides down -all the kids pause... - and then the slide machine continues.
Sometimes in my life, things just move smoothly and flow like the "slide machine." But, most of the time it doesn't. Most of the time I am analyzing too closely if I am at my rightful place in line. Wouldn't it be a great place to be just to play your part within the flow? That slide line would have been a nightmare to try and organize. But, as a freeflowing group of kids it just worked.
I want to do my part in a way that maximizes my potential while not hindering but maximizing the potential of others.
Now you are the body of Christ, and each one of you is a part of it. - 1 Corinthians 12:17

Pick Me Jedi Master - Perspective on Difficulty

E was so excited to go to the Jedi Training at Disneyland. In the Jedi Training they have a show where they ask for children to volunteer to be trained as a Jedi and then get the opportunity to fight one of the two sithlords that have gone to the "Dark Side". We had tried to get  E to do it at previous visits. But, he was always too scared after seeing Darth Maul and Darth Vader. This time E had worked up the courage and told us he was going to do it. We had seen the show a few times before. So, we knew to arrive early so we could be in the front row when they asked for volunteers. We even rehearsed with E jumping up and down and shouting so that he would be noticed by the Jedi Master. The time was almost upon us. So, we prepped E  to jump and shout and were ready with video and still camera in hand. The Jedi Master proceeded to pick kids to come up on the stage for the training. "The kid with the blue hat - Please step forward." "The young lady with the Minnie Mouse shirt - Please step forward." "The young man with the sign that says Jedi Master pick me - please step forward." He proceeded to pick about 20 child volunteers. The entire time E is jumping up and down, yelling, "Pick me, Pick me!" "Young man with the Donald Duck hat - Please step forward." And then, the Jedi Master was done. E was still next to us in the audience. He was devastated. I mean heart broken. Although E  has his moments, he is not typically the type to be overly dramatic when he does not get what he wants. But, this day he fully expected that he was going to be one of the twenty children up on that stage training to defeat Darth Vader. He was not. And he had the uncontrollable sobbing to prove it. It was not an angry cry. But, a cry of sincere disappointment. So, we did our best to comfort him and worked to be engaged in watching the rest of the show and training of the other young Jedi's. The show ended and as we got up to leave a man behind us gave us a sign that read "Pick Me Jedi Master" and told us his son gets picked every time. We thanked him and proceeded to make our way through the crowd. Our plan was actually to head home after the Jedi Training. But, that plan made the assumption that E actually participated in the Jedi training. Nonetheless, we did not think that E would want to go through that same trauma again. So, we started our way toward the exit. To be honest, I think I was almost as devastated as E. There is nothing like seeing your four year old son so disappointed. I wanted to him to get picked so bad also. I did not want to push him too hard to try again. But, I told him if he wanted to, we would try. E said, "Dad, if you want me to, I will." I was actually very surprised he chose to try again. He definitely had to work up some courage on his part. I was proud of him. So, I said, "Yeah, let's try again." It was at least another hour until the next show. We made our way around the park. But, our minds were really focused the entire time on how we could get E picked. We got there early again. This time we had the sign "Pick Me Jedi Master" in hand, hoping this would help E to get noticed. I even had E wear my green A's hat just so the Jedi Master would have something else distinct to call out if he picked him. The time was approaching again. This time we coached E to yell even louder and to jump even higher and this time to wave that sign "Pick Me Jedi Master" as hard as you can. And E did. And this time he was picked.
But, he was not only picked. He was placed on the center stage right next to the Jedi Master who runs the entire show/training. And, as you will see in this video link, he even had the opportunity to have some fun interaction with him. It was awesome! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xODNp4I0rLk
In a matter of two hours, E went from utter devastation to living in a Star Wars dream world. Don't we wish real life worked like that?

Are you on the side of utter devastation?
Did things not go as you had planned?

"No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him"

It is all about perspective. In hindsight, E is grateful he got to go the second time.

What is it that you are experiencing that you have not seen the happy ending to yet?
Could it be that there is something better, something greater than what you have imagined.
Could it be that the next chapter of this story is what you have been hoping and praying for.
If you trust Him - Then, I say yes.

Bad Dreams, Pirates of the Caribbean, and the Light Saber

When you have a two and a four year old boy you can forget about Hawaii, the Bahamas, or Monterey for vacation. The ultimate vacation spot is Disneyland. Last year my job required me to be in Southern California quite a bit. So, we decided to splurge and get the season pass. We made every little getaway that year to "The Happiest Place on Earth."

So, here we were making our rounds to the different rides in the park. Buzz Lightyear is E's favorite. Actually, it's e's favorite too. They would ride on that all day every time if we let them. But, we are always trying to help them progress in their roller coaster repertoire. We found ourselves at a busy time of day and decided we wanted to get on a ride that did not have a long line to wait in. Pirates of the Caribbean is a good one for that. It moves people through fast and I have never had to wait more than five minutes to get on. We have been on the ride twice before with both the boys. So, I was a little surprised that E was hesitant to head toward the ride. Now, whether you think it is right for us to take our two young boys on Pirates of the Carribean is a whole other issue. But, I am going to disregard your concern for the sake of this great story. :)

In E's slight hesitancy he asked if he could bring his light saber on the ride. They both always bring their light sabers to DLand. You never know when we might head over to the Jedi training. When he asked this, I pictured him wielding his light saber while on this shifting boat that is in the water, in a very dark enclosed area, and whacking some grandma upside the head. So, not wanting to ruin somebody's vacation, I told E no. Remember the light saber for later in the story. ;) Now, we were headed in between the empty steel line boundaries and to the quick moving entrance.

To set up this story, I need to give you a little insight into E's recent sleeping issues. You see, E had been often telling me he was scared when he went to bed because he was having bad dreams. We had been spending quite a bit of time talking and praying together before bed to help him to feel comfortable with going to sleep. Most recently, I had been encouraging E that if he was scared during his dream, that there was no reason he could not pray during his dream. So, if you see a monster in your dream, ask God to help you not to be scared in your dream and for his protection. E was good with that and I think it helped with his progression toward not being scared before bedtime. But, the point I want to make from this story is that I was trying to help E understand he could pray to God about anything including monsters and God would hear him and help him as he saw fit.

Back to the ride. We knew getting on the ride that there was one part that he liked the least. That was the part of the ride where the boat is going slowly up a hill and you see in front of you a hologram of the pirate with the octopus beard - Davy Jones. Both times, we rode the ride previously we would just distract E in some way and he would be fine and actually like the other parts of the ride. This time E decided he was going to take things into his own hands. As the ride crept up the incline, we attempted to do the same things we had done at previous times. But, E did not seem to pay attention to our distractions. He did not want to sing any songs or look at any other scenery on the ride. His eyes were fixed on Davy Jones (octopus beard man.) As we crept closer, you could sense some anticipation from E. It seemed to be a mix of both fear and boldness. As we got closer to the hologram of Davy Jones you felt like you were almost able to touch it. You have to go right through the hologram to get to the next part of the ride. As we inched closer just moments before entering the larger than life image of Davy Jones, E decided he was going to make his move. With a type of fearlessness that would make any father proud, E stood up in the ride and yelled, "God, Give me my light saber right now!"

He believed it. He believed that God would meet him right there on that ride just like He did in his dream - Just like He did when Daniel was in the lion's den - Just like He did when David slew Goliath. So, now you are saying to yourself, “Ed, surely God did not throw him a light saber out of the sky.” You’re right He didn’t. It was much more than that. The biggest obstacle in E’s path at that moment was not Davy Jones. It was fear. And courage was just the right answer to his prayer.

1st Samuel, Chapter 17, verse 32 David said to Saul, "Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him."